Posts tagged Jesus
Born Okay The First Time In Lower Alabama
Atomic Power in Christ: Yes, you too can have Bible dynamite!
Tweet
I enjoyed a god free National Championship game last night as Saban and company thanked coaching staff, players, fans and community for Alabama victory.
Jesus was remarkably absent from post game credits and award ceremony:-)
Roll Tide!
Tweet
Reverence for the Irreverent: Conserving the Jefferson Bible
Archivists at the Smithsonian Institution detail the painstaking process of preserving the 200-year-old book which Jefferson created using a razor to cut selected verses from the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in order to create his own biography of Jesus without referencing any miracles, angels or other supernatural nonsense.
“Among the sayings and discourses imputed to [Jesus] by his biographers, I find many passages of fine imagination, correct morality, and of the most lovely benevolence: and others again of so much ignorance, so much absurdity, so much untruth, charlatanism, and imposture, as to pronounce it impossible that such contradictions should have proceeded from the same being. I separate therefore the gold from the dross; restore to him the former, and leave the latter to the stupidity of some, and roguery of others of his disciples. Of this band of dupes and impostors, Paul was the great Coryphaeus, and first corrupter of the doctrines of Jesus. These palpable interpolations and falsifications of his doctrines led me to try to sift them apart.”
—Thomas Jefferson (1820 - Letter to William Short)
Tweet
TUSCUMBIA, AL (WAFF) -
A Shoals school is being asked not to sing a popular Christmas carol at their annual Christmas performance.
Parents are upset about a request to nix “Silent Night” from the program at GW Trenholm Primary School in Tuscumbia because of its reference to Jesus.
Parents said they heard the news about a possible ban on the song from their children’s teachers.
School attorney Jimmy Hughston said despite a letter from lawyers, students will perform the Christmas program as rehearsed.
However, Hughston would not release the person or persons who requested the ban due to confendientiality reasons.
In the meantime, parents and community members are upset at the thought of banning a Christmas song from school.
“…I look back when we came along and we started those songs and we prayed during school hours before the day got started and it’s kind of disturbing to know that their taking prayer out of school…”
Seriously? That’s like a white man saying “I look back to when my parents came up and people used to hang black men for sleeping with white women and black boys would get beat up by white kids in school just for talking to a white girl. It’s kind of disturbing the way they allow interracial relationships in school and society these days. “
Tweet
Jesus fans have an Axe to grind with Johnny Depp
Actually it’s Johnny’s Axe grinding to a new song by the band Babybird, titled “Jesus Stag Night Club,” that has many Christians “outraged.”
According to Lee Douglas, spokesman for “The Christian Coalition,” Depp has committed the crime of blasphemy and “one day, Johnny Depp and his cronies will face the judgment of our Lord and they will burn in hell for this filth.”
That seems to be a pretty harsh sentence for a victimless “crime” but I guess even in our more enlightened age, there are still some Christians who get off on watching people burn.
Song and lyrics posted below.
Saw a man in a bar with his hair like a lady
Bloody thorns ’round his ears like he was a crazy
He had holes in his hands and a cross for a spine
Crushed a berry in his Perrier and called it wine
He said, “There’s great sadness in life, but don’t sit there and blub:
Here’s some tickets for your friends to the Jesus Stag Night Club!”
I can’t remember where I was last night
Think I was hanging naked off a church spire
Tied by my ankles to a weathervane
Felt like I was Jesus on fire
Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck
I begged my dad (?) to take me to a strip bar
Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs
Drove myself home in a stolen car
Turn a bird upside down and it lies in your fingers like a dead man
When you throw it in the air it’s resurrected from your hand
We went to a motel, he showed me his Bible
I said, “Tell me the truth,” while he looked me in the eyeball
He said, “There’s great happiness in life but don’t just sit there in love:
Here’s some tickets for your friends to the Jesus Stag Night Club!”
I can’t remember where I was last night
Think I was getting on a night bus
Lyin’ on the laps of my good friends
Judas Priest and Lazarus
I’m getting married in the big bad morning
But it feels like I’m giving birth
I feel so happy I could scream
“This is my last few seconds on Earth”
Saw a man in the street lying on the floor beaten up
He had a fish finger sandwich and a yellow-handled (?) coffee cup
I bent down drunk and tried to pick him up
But when I turned around I could see…it was Jesus…
I can’t remember where I was last night
Think I was hanging on a church spire
Tied by my ankles to a weathervane
Felt like I was Jesus on fire
Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck
I begged my dad (?) to take me to a strip bar
Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs
Drove myself home in a stolen car
I can’t remember where I was last night
Think I was getting on a night bus
Lyin’ on the laps of my good friends
Judas Priest and Lazarus
I’m getting married in the big bad morning
But it feels like I’m giving birth
I feel so happy I could scream
“This is my last few seconds on Earth!”
Tweet
THERE IS NO WAR ON CHRISTMAS
via the American Humanist Association
Tweet
If your relationship with Jesus is so personal, why do I keep hearing about it?
Tweet
Would be Obama assassin channels Jesus Christ
An Idaho man charged with trying to kill President Obama claims he is the second coming of Jesus Christ.
Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez was arraigned Thursday in Pittsburgh. He allegedly fired nine shots at the White House last Friday with an assault rifle.
One bullet hit a window in the 2nd floor living quarters. The president wasn’t there, and no one was hurt.
Ortega’s car was found abandoned nearby shortly after the shooting; an assault rifle with a scope and nine spent shell casings were found inside.
Ortega-Hernandez has been quoted as calling Mr. Obama the “Antichrist.
Be sure to watch entire video below. This guy is all over the board with his ideas and very incoherent. Not unlike the candidates running for the Republican presidential nomination:-( Reminds me of a Glenn Beck or Alex Jones.
Tweet
![“I can only assume [this] is a levitating rabbit about to drop an egg on Jesus.” A father responds to a school chaplain’s request to indoctrinate his child.
WARNING! Do not attempt to drink any beverages while reading this:-)](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqjybjZOWs1qjamtho1_400.jpg)
“I can only assume [this] is a levitating rabbit about to drop an egg on Jesus.” A father responds to a school chaplain’s request to indoctrinate his child.
WARNING! Do not attempt to drink any beverages while reading this:-)
Tweet
Biblical Contradictions
Tweet
